Unsubscribe me, you. . .you. . .you. . .I dont' know what you are.
It's been awhile since I'm gotten riled up with the people at the other end of the Internet. Originally, it was everyone's nemesis--the big M. Recently, though, I've been afflicted with unsubscribitis. I'm sure all have been so afflicted at one time or another but I am starting to notice a trend. You know, you get tired of receiving an email that doesn't do much for you anymore and the thought of just throwing it into the spam folder goes against your principles.
What I think is happening is that advertisers (Unsubscribitis is spread by sites that have advertisers) have a formula that includes how many active email addresses are on the site's mailing list. The more the better, of course. If a website makes it easy to unsubscribe, their revenues could see a hit.
Some of the techniques used are quite blatant and patently phony. They will ignore you altogether or tell you they will send you a link that you must click on to unsubscribe and that link--surprise surprise--does not open to any valid page. I have taken crude steps to counteract their tactics but I've since developed a more sophisticated approach which I'd like to share with you.
First, contact the company via email and tell them they must unsubscribe you immediately regardless of what the idiots in Washington or the state capitals think is reasonable time (I think they give them 10 days to accomplish what most self-respecting websites can do instantly but then we know about lobbyists, don't we?)
If that fails, send them this communication:
If you insist on not unsubscribing me, I will take the following action:
I will contact the CEO of your company telling him/her that your systems analysts/programmers suck or a manager is fixing the numbers.
I will contact advertisers on your site telling them that you maintain bogus mailing lists.
I will contact the FTC and my state attorney general.
If you are ignored, you'll want to start doing these one at a time. The second action about the advertisers is the one that will have heads rolling but that takes more time than contacting the CEO and maybe you'll be lucky enough to contact the one half of them that have some modicum of respectibility. The third option is effective but it depends on the state (Pennsylvanian's have decent laws and their officials will, I have heard, readily enforce them).
One last note to legislators. You were duped into thinking that some companies might require 10 days to get someone off their email lists. If they can put someone on the list instantly they can take someone off instantly. We're not talking here about an olive that falls back into an olive jar and you have to fish it out again--that's damn hard. Removing an email from a mailing list is made hard only by those with ulterior motives. I've was in IT for over 10 years, I know that when a datum needs to be added, changed, or deleted, it can be done at lightning speed. The programing may take a while but the actual process--no matter the complexity of the system--is measured in milliseconds.
For those companies who fear that a competitor may be unsubscribing people from it's mailing list, you merely have to implement one of those "type what you see in this box" feature that ensure that only humans can unsubscribe. That, alone or in combination with a user entering his/her username/password should allay their fears.
What I think is happening is that advertisers (Unsubscribitis is spread by sites that have advertisers) have a formula that includes how many active email addresses are on the site's mailing list. The more the better, of course. If a website makes it easy to unsubscribe, their revenues could see a hit.
Some of the techniques used are quite blatant and patently phony. They will ignore you altogether or tell you they will send you a link that you must click on to unsubscribe and that link--surprise surprise--does not open to any valid page. I have taken crude steps to counteract their tactics but I've since developed a more sophisticated approach which I'd like to share with you.
First, contact the company via email and tell them they must unsubscribe you immediately regardless of what the idiots in Washington or the state capitals think is reasonable time (I think they give them 10 days to accomplish what most self-respecting websites can do instantly but then we know about lobbyists, don't we?)
If that fails, send them this communication:
If you insist on not unsubscribing me, I will take the following action:
I will contact the CEO of your company telling him/her that your systems analysts/programmers suck or a manager is fixing the numbers.
I will contact advertisers on your site telling them that you maintain bogus mailing lists.
I will contact the FTC and my state attorney general.
If you are ignored, you'll want to start doing these one at a time. The second action about the advertisers is the one that will have heads rolling but that takes more time than contacting the CEO and maybe you'll be lucky enough to contact the one half of them that have some modicum of respectibility. The third option is effective but it depends on the state (Pennsylvanian's have decent laws and their officials will, I have heard, readily enforce them).
One last note to legislators. You were duped into thinking that some companies might require 10 days to get someone off their email lists. If they can put someone on the list instantly they can take someone off instantly. We're not talking here about an olive that falls back into an olive jar and you have to fish it out again--that's damn hard. Removing an email from a mailing list is made hard only by those with ulterior motives. I've was in IT for over 10 years, I know that when a datum needs to be added, changed, or deleted, it can be done at lightning speed. The programing may take a while but the actual process--no matter the complexity of the system--is measured in milliseconds.
For those companies who fear that a competitor may be unsubscribing people from it's mailing list, you merely have to implement one of those "type what you see in this box" feature that ensure that only humans can unsubscribe. That, alone or in combination with a user entering his/her username/password should allay their fears.
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